This is the last song

Today is the beginning of a sad season: real adulthood.

It mustn't be this way though. I have had the summer of my life, here at Philmont. And although so many of my friends are leaving, it is important to remember that it has been amazing, and nothing will change that.

In two days I will pick up my 20th crew. It may not be a huge number or matter much, but I have had impact on many lives, roughly 200 people. Then again, they have had impact on me too.

So, as I collect the memories of a place that I love dearly, I too will look forward.

To what? I am still unsure. But, till that really

happens, I can still enjoy the challenge that an unknown future may bring.

iwtgbtp

Dream Catch Me

Yesterday, I realized I am gradating. Today, I think I am never going to leave this place. Tomorrow, I will be gone.

When I think of what University has meant to me, I can recall the sleepless nights, the parties with friends, and of course the satisfaction of a job well done. Yet, it was about growth and challenge, both self-resilience and collaboration. I am proud of where I have come, and I know where ever I go, I am internally equipped to kick some ass. This is not arrogant, its confidence.

I may not know where I am going next after Philmont, but I know not to worry.

I will miss this 'place', this 'time', but yet don't know if I will ever recover from it. For there is pain in college too. Work is never easy and for me, never complete.

My only solace is in the music I put on my head, and regretfully the greatest joys will only come from within my heart.

This is a time for celebration, not remorse.

-I want to go back to Philmont
Where the old Rayado Flows
Where the rain comes a seep'n
in the tent where your a sleep'n
and the water says 'Hello'

I want to hike some more,
the canyon floor,
from scribbles to old camp...

With my back pack a squeek'n
my back sweat a reak'n
and my legs begin to cramp:

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I want hike again
with such great men
who made those famous treks
From beaubian to porky
and cito to Car-Max.

to fear

I fear change.

Maybe its my make up
or
human nature.

Either way, I must be willing to embrace what comes at me. The challenges should inspire performance, the tribulations: humility, and the accolades: gratitude.

Once again I applied to a firm in Jackson, Wyoming. I am in fear; I don't want to move out of Detroit.

Is this fear, or do I really to live here, in my comfortable life. Friends, some family, and essentially my whole life, and especialy the last five years.

I have become connected here. I have worked else where, traveled abroad, but I still wish to come home.

Why?

The familiarity. The inability to detach.
or is it none of these.

Maybe what I have is that great.

Either way- I recognize this, I know that I don't want change, but growth comes from challenge, which usually stems or becomes change.

Do I want to grow?

Yes.

For what ever yesterday holds

If you asked me 10 years ago, what I thought I would be doing now- well it would not be this. At 13, in the 7th grade, I did not know what design studio was, let alone fathom being up past 11:00 doing homework [its 3:30 am]. Yet, here I am, and I will say- 4 years ago I knew exactly what I would be doing now: slaving over architecture that will never be built, hoping for a grade that I can be proud of, and lastly, writing a thesis.

Now ask me this- "what do you see yourself doing in 5 years, 10 years,..." Well, thats a really good question. I may be better equipped to say what I wish to accomplish or experience within this time frame. Will I be in Architecture, who is to say.

What helped me realize what I was to be doing was not that I had that clear of a vision- rather I had a precise path, in which I knew my activities and pursuits would be prescribed. And more importantly, I had role models on that same course, so I observed their lives, emotions, friendships, and of course bar nights. So, like graduation, accept here, I think 'they' prescribe are lives to our shits. My thesis book is getting fatter (phatter [if anyone still knows what that means]) than me, and I just hope I can turn it in on Monday @ 1:00 for Wilhelm.
- And if I do, I can use that new flask I bought for MAY 10th!

This is the education of my life.

... or maybe this is just the beginning...

right now

today will be the 'happiest' day of our lives. we will only know truly what this singular moment is and not what it will progress into; the continuum of time will become will not be encountered in real time, rather in retrospective.

In studio, right now, I have a smile on my face. this my moment, in my life, in our shared universe is the best one yet- I know more now than before, I want less, and lastly grow more friendships.

Go figure.

deciding your lane

Life seems to unfold at the oddest moments. I in particular dwell in this idea; never quite sure where to grasp, and once I do, I never seem to want to move on quite fast enough for the world around me. I need to pick a faster lane at times, well at least a more fluid one. Tomorrows comes in two speeds: fast and faster, and it is not going to let up anytime soon. I know- very 'coming of age'.

I will enjoy these last moments hopefully more than ever, and know that what ever comes next will also be good.

New Year

Its been a great Winter Break. Spending my days in Denver, visiting and skiing with friends and family. Then traveling to Jackson Hole, WY to celebrate Christmas with my brother and parents. The skiing, as always, is mind blowing. And lastly, coming home to my fair city, Detroit to work on my thesis is always great. Everyone I visited was very hospitable and its great to know I have great friends all over.

As a theme, we know this blog leads up to my summer experience. I have received my contract for Philmont, I will be a Mountain Trek Ranger, which I am very excited for and anticipate a great summer. As for post summer and graduation, well I plan on staying in Detroit, hopefully to find a job of course with one of our great firms.

The thesis is always a lot of work, but no one ever said a Graduate Degree was easy.